With Apologies

It seems it has been a very long time since I posted. I have been in Van City on holidays since Thursday, and haven't had much computer time. The little changes are going well, I have been taking my vitamins and my Pills every day, and I will finish Pride and Prejudice tomorrow on the plane (the book progress has slowed because I am too busy visiting). My sleep/awake schedule has gone to shit, but I think that is to be expected when you are on holidays in a different time zone.

My husband is not with me here, I am visiting a single girlfriend, so that is both awesome and sucky. It is super fun to have some girl time (we went for pedicures on Friday, and bought new purses, shoes and jewelry on Saturday) but I didn't think that I would miss him so much. We have been apart before, and for longer, but I think this time is different because he has become my best friend and I am not used to hanging out with girls all the time. Apparently farting and burping is gross for girls. Who knew? This provides an even stronger case for making lady friends at home. I will have more fun with my existing friends because I will remember how to do the girlfriend thing.

My best friend here has a new friend that she hangs out with all the time. She has an amazing model-type body (tall, thin, legs for days, nice boobs), but she's kind of a but-her-face, so that makes her more tolerable. My bestie and I are very similar in shape and size, so that works out great for us, no jealousy. The 3 of us went out last night. Somehow these girls talk about getting slammed every weekend and drinking all the time, but they were kinda light-weights last night; we all drank the same and I was totally fine and they were falling all over themselves. I haven't been out with girls like that for a while and I guess drinking with only guys can increase your tolerance. Also, I felt disgusting. I don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive, but it felt like every guy was looking at me and thinking how fat I was. At one point these guys came over to take a picture of us and the one put his arm around me and in the picture he is leaning towards me making a face and has his hand over my boob. Then while we were walking home some guys in an SUV said something along the lines of, "What about those thick ones?" and then starting hooting at us. I was not happy about that, but I don't think the other girls heard or cared because they were too drunk.

Also, as you note, I only mention buying shoes and jewelry, this is because I am enormous and nothing fits me. This is the major problem with the little changes, the changes in my figure are pretty little too. This isn't like a regular, change everything at once diet where you lose 5-10 pounds pretty quick, I have a feeling that I won't actually start losing weight until October or November. I have to keep reminding myself that this is (as hokey and "Dr. Phil-esque" as it sounds) a lifestyle change. I could lose 5-10 pounds and the celebrate back on 20 as has been my standard approach to weight loss, or I can slowly but surely change my habits until I lose 50 pounds, in like a year and then have all these fantastic habits just be part of my regular life and be able to stay 50 pounds lighter.

Until I have a baby or 2 and gain a bunch of it back. Lame.